“Dad, Gramma and I made your favorite cookies. Come try one!”
The twin shouts of excitement overlapped as soon as I stepped through my parent’s door, and the kids came running up to me for hugs.
“Hi guys, I missed you too,” I chuckled. And I had—I realized that every time they were gone, the house felt empty. I’d never experienced that in Alabama, even after Cheryl left. I’d been so overwhelmed with everything I had to do, I barely had the brainpower to keep it all together. Every moment alone was like a second for me to catch my breath. Now we seemed to have settled into a flow, and while I enjoyed adult time—especially time like last night—I was genuinely looking forward to having them home again.
I let them pull me through the house so Ethan could show me the model car he had built with my dad’s help. Olivia held a chocolate chip cookie with walnuts under my nose until I gave in and took a bite.
And just like when they were little, and I returned from a deployment, the pair of them clambered on my lap, each claiming a leg, and leaned against me. Despite being quite a bit bigger, they were content to share space. I wrapped my arms around both their middles and squeezed them close, planting a kiss on the back of each head.
My heart thudded in my chest, a tingling feeling prickling my eyes. For the first time in—I wasn’t sure how long—my life felt like it was headed in the right direction. Everything, miraculously, was going well. The kids were happy. I enjoyed my job, and I was sort of seeing an incredible woman who brought out a side of myself I hadn’t seen in ages. I lived just a few blocks from my parents, and we were heading into my favorite season: fall. Everything at this moment was right.
“Meatloaf will be ready in five minutes, guys. Why don’t you two go wash up?” My mom beamed at Ethan and Olivia, and just like that, the moment was over. They hopped off my lap and raced for the bathroom. We could hear them fighting over who got to wash their hands first.
Mom gazed affectionately after them, smiling to herself as they negotiated.
“I got to the sink first!”
“Yeah, but I have the soap! You can’t wash your hands without the soap, Ethan.”
“That’s not fair. You’re not allowed to take the soap off the sink. It’s against the rules!”
“Who said?”
“Guys,” I called after them, laughing. “Olivia, give Ethan the soap, he was there first. Ethan, why don’t you move over and make room for your sister? It’s big enough for you both to wash at the same time.”
The arguing stopped, and after a few moments, both emerged with damp splotches on their shirts.
We sat down to dinner, and after Mom took the kids into the living room to watch a movie while Dad and I cleaned up.
“You’re in a good mood,” he commented, handing me a soapy plate to rinse and dry. Despite retirement, my parents still didn’t believe in dishwashers, apparently.
“I am, actually.”
“Did you have a good weekend?”
“I did. I missed the kids, though.”
“Well, that’s to be expected. But I hope you got out and had some fun. How was the costume thing?”
“Yeah, I did. I helped Ellie with a trivia night thing Friday, and last night was actually a karaoke/costume contest with an 80s theme. Hence the outfit. Thanks again, by the way.”
Dad’s placid expression shifted into one of surprise. “Karaoke? Not something I would have pegged you for, son.”
“Hey, I’ve been known to belt a tune once or twice. It was a good time.”
“I’m glad you had fun. And you went with Ellie? Who is Ellie? The kids have been talking about her a lot.”
“Isabelle Tremont. she prefers Ellie.”
“I see. Isn’t she your boss? And also the woman you’re supposed to be training?”
It almost felt like I was having this conversation with Olivia. “No, she’s not my boss, technically. I work for JJ Tremont, her dad.”
“But isn’t she in line to take over as CEO? That sounds sort of like a conflict of interest.”
“Why? Are you saying it’s against her interest to date me?” I didn’t mean my tone to come out as harsh as it did.
“No, I’m not saying that at all, son. I’m just saying that there has to be complications for her, dating an employee. What does her father say?”
I squirmed internally. “He doesn’t know, yet. It’s really new, we’re keeping it low-key for now.”
“Ah.” It was one syllable, but it felt like a mountain of reproach. Dad focused on the plate he was scrubbing, and I searched for an explanation.
“You don’t understand. We met before either of us knew who the other was. And we cooled it as soon as we realized, but… honestly, she’s just amazing, Dad. She’s smart and funny, and I feel like a different person with her.”
“A different person, how?” He handed me another plate, and I dutifully rinsed and resumed wiping.
“I dunno, exactly. It’s like she brings something out of me, something I forgot was there. I’ve gotten so bogged down in responsibility I think I forgot how to have fun, if that makes sense? I mean, yeah, we’d have barbecues with friends and take the kids on vacations, but those were never really fun for me. It was always an itinerary, getting the kids from point A to point B, checking things off an endless list of ‘childhood experiences’ we didn’t want them to miss out on.
“Honestly, Cheryl did most of it and I just did what she told me. And then when we broke up, I had to take on both roles—being ‘Dad’ and ‘Mom’—and I didn’t have time to even think about how I wanted my life to change, too. I was just holding on tight and rowing as hard as I could, trying to keep the ship on course. But Ellie,” I sighed, unable to voice what I felt. “With Ellie it feels like… like a breath of fresh air. Like she makes me want to loosen up, allow the wind to take the sails for a minute so I can stop rowing, if that makes any sense at all.”
I set the plate down on the dry stack and reached for the next one, but Dad had stopped washing, and now he turned the water off and turned to face me.
“Divorce is hard, son. Thankfully, your mother and I never went through it, but friends of ours have. I can’t tell you how proud we are that you’ve stepped up and are trying to do right by our grandkids.”
He grabbed the cloth from my hands and dried his. For some reason, in this moment, the details in his face stood out to me. His neatly cut greying hair, the deep creases at the corners of his eyes. Everyone has always said how much I look like my dad, and as if it snuck up on me, I suddenly realized he’d become older than I realized.
Dad dropped a hand on my shoulder, and my throat grew thick. His eyes were still bright, and they held me firmly now.
“We’re so grateful you’re here, and we both think you’ve made all the right decisions for Ethan and Olivia. You have a support network here, and a job that allows you to be home with them. As proud as we are of your service, we know that the military life is hard on children. We toughed it out when you were growing up and you did just fine. But as a single-parent household, it’s just a lot for those kids to navigate. While I know how hard it was to give up your career when you were so close to retirement, I’m very proud of you, son. I want you to know that.”
The emotion in his voice pricked at the back of my eyes, forming a catch in my throat. I loved my dad, but he was not an emotional man. I’d always modeled my behavior on him as the stoic provider for the family. This show of emotion caught me completely off-guard.
“However,” he continued, “now that you’re here, you need to stay the course. JJ Tremont is a good man, but he has strong opinions about how Aspen Ridge should run, and who his daughter should date.”
He handed me back the towel and turned the water on, reaching for the next plate.
“I know, and we’re very aware of the issues, Dad. It’s not anything, yet.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. You and Cheryl… well, you’ll forgive me for saying it, but you were never a good fit. Your mother and I did the best we could—we wanted you to be happy, and Cheryl was who you chose—but that attraction to someone so different from you is what led you to this point in the first place. So it concerns me to think you might be headed down the same path.”
“Dad, I-”
He cut me off. “I know Ellie is not Cheryl, and I know you say it’s nothing serious yet. But I know my son, and I’ve seen this look before. Once you get your mind set on something, you see it through to the end. So I will not try to dissuade you, but I want you to remember what went wrong between you and Cheryl, so you can be sure not to repeat those mistakes. Most importantly, you need to keep Olivia and Ethan your focus. What they need most from you right now is stability, and you can’t let this relationship get in the way of securing your position here. They have to come first right now.”
My retort lodged in my throat. Even though the gentle reprimand stung, he was right, of course. I’d barely landed here, gotten my feet under me, and I was already thinking about chasing after Ellie despite the consequences.
“You’re right, Dad,” I sighed. “Thank you for bringing it up. I will take things slowly and keep my focus on the kids.”
“I know you’ll do the right thing, son. You always do.”
We finished up the dishes and I eventually got the kids home and tucked in bed. For a long time after, I lay awake, thinking over my dad’s words.
In just a few short weeks, I was already witnessing the change in Ethan and Olivia. They were clearly happier here, even more relaxed around me. They chattered happily on the drive home, and bedtime was now sleepy smiles and kisses instead of dutiful ‘good night, Dad’s. Everything I had hoped for with the move here was coming true. Ethan had less trouble controlling his temper, and Olivia was acting more like a joyful nine-year-old than a battle-hardened soldier. She had been talking animatedly about an upcoming choir performance at her school, excitement glittering in her eyes.
And my position at Aspen Ridge was precarious. I needed to solidify my place here if I wanted to see my kids continue to come out of their shells. JJ promised me a few months, and based on my performance, the potential to be placed in a more permanent position. But that was no guarantee, and I had no idea how that would change if he found out I was dating with his daughter.
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