“Ellie is so pretty,” Olivia commented with a dreamy sigh from the couch. The kids were playing on their tablets while I made our Saturday morning tradition: blueberry pancakes.
“Yes, she is,” I agreed, half-listening. Ethan’s pancakes had to be perfect circles with exactly 13 blueberries, or he wouldn’t eat them. That kind of precision required concentration, and I was nothing if not thorough.
“Look, Dad. Doesn’t she look pretty? Like a princess.” Olivia had come into the kitchen when I wasn’t paying attention, and when I turned, she thrust her tablet in my face.
The kids went to the Boys and Girl’s Club after school, and Olivia liked to browse their calendar to see what next week’s activities would be. She had a page open to the site, and a photo pulled up of Ellie, wearing a sparkling dress and an even brighter smile, clutching the arm of Zachary Grafton.
“Very pretty,” I agreed, trying to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach. “What is that from?” It had to be an old photo she just happened across while being nosey on the site. I drew in deep breaths and tried to slow my racing heart. I still had no real claim on Ellie, and despite my feelings, we hadn’t discussed exclusivity.
“It’s from the fundraiser last night. ‘Isabelle Tremont and long-time beeyoo Zachary Grafton attended the annual fundraiser gala, along with seventy-five other business owners in the area,’” Olivia recited, reading carefully. “Dad, what’s a bee-yoo?”
“Spell it for me?” A sinking feeling told me I already knew what the word was, but I had to ask.
“B-E-A-U, beeyoo.”
“It’s beau, honey. It’s pronounced beau, like b-o-w.”
“That’s dumb. It doesn’t look like that at all.”
“Well, that’s the English language for you,” I murmured, flipping the pancakes.
“So what’s it mean?”
“What?”
“What does beau mean?”
“Um…” oh god, there was no good way to explain this. “I’m not sure, honey. We’ll have to look it up later.” Feigning ignorance was the chicken’s way out, but it worked.
“You don’t know what it means?” Olivia’s tone was incredulous, and I kept my back to her penetrating stare so as not to give myself away. “You knew how to pronounce it, so you have to know what it means.”
“Well, I remember seeing the word before, but lots of words have different meanings, you know that.” Desperately, I flipped the script. “What do you think it means?”
She was quiet for a minute, thinking. I slid the pancakes from the pan and poured another set.
“I think it means friend. They look like friends.”
“I think that’s a good guess, honey. Why don’t you go tell your brother to go potty and wash his hands? You too, breakfast is almost ready.”
“Okay Dad.” She trounced into the living room, and I sighed in relief.
It was bad enough not really knowing where I stood with Ellie. But having my kids so invested was harder than I thought it’d be. And now this?
If we were being more open with each other, why didn’t she tell me she was going out with Zach last night?
After breakfast, I let them have another half hour of tablet time while I researched the event. Down into the rabbit hole of online gossip I went, landing upon a gallery full of photos from the gala. Sure enough, every photo of Ellie included Zach, down to the table where they sat, close together, surrounded by empty chairs.
Then, because I needed to hurt my own feelings further, I started reading the comments.
“Such a handsome couple!”
“So happy for these two.”
“Are they engaged yet? They’ve been together forever.”
“Yeah, I want to know when we’re going to see a ring!”
The comments section was full of admiring comments from well-meaning community members, all of them stumping this relationship that Ellie insisted she wasn’t in. But if that was the case, why was she there alone with Zach? Clearly, there was no ‘family event’ excuse for this one.
My mind dredged up the question my heart didn’t want to ask: why hadn’t she asked me to go?
My gaze drifted to my children, both of them completely enthralled with whatever they were playing on their tablets, and a sharp pain squeezed my chest.
Zach was younger, wealthy, with none of the baggage that I carried around. He and Ellie were on the same playing field, had grown up in the same environment. I wouldn’t know what to do at a fancy gala; not a civilian one, anyway. I probably would have shown up in my mess dress and embarrassed her. Ellie was smart—she probably realized that.
Maybe they’d had this planned for a long time, or maybe the golf game rekindled their affection for each other.
I tapped back to the photo Olivia showed me, of the two of them in front of a B&GC branded banner, and zoomed in. Ellie wore a gold sparkling dress, and she leaned into Zach, just a little, as if she were relying on him. Her smile was wide and genuine, her eyes bright. Zach looked like a model with a casual smile and an all-American charm, despite the tuxedo. Together, they really looked like a perfect, happy couple.
The sick feeling in my stomach grew. Maybe it was too soon for me to be dating; maybe I wasn’t cut out for this. Ellie insisted she had no romantic interest in Zach, but this didn’t really look like ‘friends.’ Random people online seemed to know all about their relationship and expected them to end up married with 2.5 kids. Even her own dad was openly trying to get them back together. Was Ellie just in some kind of denial about where she was headed?
Because even I knew there was no way I could compete with that guy. I had a small military pension, two young kids, and a whole lot of baggage. I had nothing to offer the heiress to a billion-dollar ski resort.
I’d been fooling myself that this would work. I knew that now.
I also knew what I needed to do.
*
I stewed over it all day Saturday, and eventually bit the bullet, asking Ellie to meet me for coffee on Sunday. I suggested we meet at Bear Paw Brew; it was the only coffee shop I knew by name, thanks to the Fall Fest. She seemed happy enough to meet up, and the confusing mass of feeling swirled in my gut even as I waited for her outside.
My heart lurched when she walked around the corner; the temperature had cooled, and Ellie was radiant with jeans and a fitted leather jacket. She had a soft knit hat on top of her tousled blonde hair, with pink cheeks and shining eyes. As soon as she spotted me, she unleashed that irresistible smile, and my heart rate sped to double-time when she walked up and kissed me in greeting. Guilt bubbled in my stomach, seeing her so happy and knowing what I had in store.
“Hi Jake!”
“Hey, Ellie. Good morning,” I opened the door and gestured her through.
“Good morning is right. I’m glad you suggested meeting up. It’s gorgeous out today and I probably wouldn’t have dragged my butt out of bed for hours if you hadn’t. Are the kids here?”
“No, they’re at their grandparents’ this morning.”
She led us to the counter, and we placed our orders. “Do you want to sit, or should we walk? I feel kind of restless, if you’re up for walking. For some reason, fall always gets me excited. Something about the change in seasons, the excitement for the holiday, ski season; maybe it ties back to school, however twisted that is. I was always excited for back to school.” She rambled on happily, an excited energy that I wished I could share.
“Sure, we can walk,” I shrugged like it was no big deal, but I was secretly relieved. My nerves were running overtime, and I was restless, too. Just for a different reason.
Once we claimed our coffees—she got a pumpkin spice latte, which was just so Ellie I almost laughed—we stepped outside into the crisp fall day. I sipped my plain black coffee while she rattled on about her upcoming plans for employee events. We wandered down the small town main street, past shops decorated with orange and yellow leaf garlands and other fall motifs. There were a few people out, but the summer crowd had clearly departed. In the distance, the mountain peaks were white-capped, snow already working its way toward us for the winter season.
“Is there something on your mind?” Ellie asked after a few minutes of non-committal ‘mms’ and ‘mm-hmms’ on my part.
My heart throbbed again—this was it. I had to do it. “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Okay, shoot.” She took a sip of her drink and smiled, glancing at a shop window.
“I… I don’t know how to do this without sounding ridiculous, so I’m just going to jump in. Olivia was on the Girl’s and Boy’s Club website yesterday, and she showed me photos of you… with Zach. On Friday.”
Ellie’s smile dropped. “Oh, god, the gala. I’m sorry, I should have told you about that.”
“I just… I mean, you say you’re not seeing the guy, but then you’re sneaking off to these events with him and not telling me about it.”
“Hey, there was no sneaking,” her tone was sharp. “I told you I have to attend a lot of these things. It’s part of my job. And I didn’t go with him, we were just there.”
My voice grew sharper in response. “Well, that’s not what it looked like. I mean, I feel like an idiot because I didn’t know anything about it, and then these photos of the two of you pop up and everyone’s commenting about how you’re the perfect couple and speculating about when there’s going to be an engagement announcement.” My hand tighten on the paper cup and I focused on not squeezing it too hard, lest I crush it and end up with coffee all over myself. “I just—if it was so innocent, I don’t understand why you hid it from me. As far as the whole town is concerned, you and this Zach guy are a couple, and it feels like I’m kind of just your secret.”
Ellie released a long, pained sigh. “Jake, I’m really sorry. You’re right. I should have told you about the gala. I had tickets with my dad, and he bailed on me last minute.”
She stopped walking and turned to face me, her blue eyes bright and sincere.
“I didn’t go with Zach, okay? He just was there, and his parents ditched him as well. It did kind of feel like a parental setup, if I’m honest. They still think we’re going to eventually get back together, and I don’t know how to convince them otherwise. Obviously, that is something I’ve got to put a stop to.”
Ellie reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. My need for reassurance warred with my upset about the situation. I wanted to accept her explanation, to let go of the anxiety in my stomach.
“I didn’t ask you to go because it would have been last minute, and I know how precious your time with Ethan and Olivia is. I didn’t want you to feel pressured to come up with something to wear and deal with all the drama. I didn’t think it would be fair to you, so I just sucked it up and went on my own. I was not expecting things to end up how they did.”
I nodded, drawing in a deep sigh. “Okay, that makes sense.” The pressure in my chest eased.
However, Ellie wasn’t done. Her entire demeanor shifted, her eyes flashing as she pulled her hand away and set it on her hip. “But to be honest, I think it’s kind of unfair of you to get this bent out of shape about it. We’re not really anything yet; you knew we had to take this slow, keep things under wraps until you move to mountain ops. We haven’t even discussed exclusivity, so even if I were dating Zach—which, to be clear, I most certainly am not—it’s not really any of your business.”
My teeth clenched the second she pointed out we hadn’t agreed to exclusivity, and my jaw continued to work through her statement. “I know, and I agree. I just thought-”
But Ellie wasn’t interested in letting me interrupt. “I thought we were playing it cool for a variety of reasons, including Olivia and Ethan. But if you want this to turn into something, understanding goes both ways. I have to accept that you need to prioritize what’s best for your family, and you need to understand that I have to prioritize what’s best for the resort. At least for now, until I have everything firmly in hand. You need to accept that there are a lot of obligations that come with my position here. It’s not just a nine-to-five, Jake. Yes, I have to go to these silly events, because the community expects me to be there. And like it or not, Zach is a part of the community, and he’s going to be at a lot of these things. It doesn’t mean anything, it’s just the reality of the world I live in.”
I felt my blood pulsing in my temple, and I fought to keep from spitting out an angry retort when I replied.
“You’re right, we didn’t specifically agree to be exclusive. Call me old-fashioned, I just assumed it was implied. I know you have obligations to Aspen Ridge, and I have obligations to my family. I own my part in how my last relationship fell apart. But it also felt like my ex was more concerned about getting what she wanted out of life than fulfilling the promises she made to me or our children. To me, family is more important than anything else. But maybe we don’t agree on everything, after all.” The derisive laugh escaped my lips.
Ellie’s body went completely rigid, her blue eyes turned to chips of ice as she asked, “What do you mean ‘we don’t agree?’”
I squared my stance and gestured. “This, Ellie. You’re smart and beautiful, but you obviously care more about your business than you ever will about me or my kids. I was so distracted about how you made me feel, how my kids reacted to you, I didn’t think it all the way through. I don’t blame you; you haven’t done anything wrong. You’ve always been clear about your priorities, and I just fooled myself into thinking we might have a place near the top. But I don’t think I can do this; I don’t want my kids to get attached to a woman whose first priority is work. They’ve been through too much. I’ve been through too much, and I can’t make the same mistake again.”
“So, this is all a mistake to you?” Her face was still angry, but her voice broke, just a little, near the end. My heart lurched once more, but I held firm.
“You don’t agree? We’re already hiding it from your father, which doesn’t make me feel great. I have to be honest. How long will it be before we can tell him? And my kids need stability, people they can count on in their lives right now. I can’t even count on you to tell me what you’re doing from night to night. You have your obligations, and I have mine. I think it’s better we just let this whole mess go before it becomes a real disaster. Besides, as you pointed out, we’re not really anything, anyway.” The last sentence was bitter, revealing more of my hurt than I intended.
Ellie jutted her chin out, nodding slowly. “Well, if that’s how you feel, I guess there’s not a lot more to say.”
“That’s how I feel.”
“Got it.” She glanced into the window we’d stopped by. “You know, there’s something in here I want to look at. No need to wait for me, you can go on. Unless you have something more to add?”
I swallowed. “I think I’ve said enough.”
“Okay, well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then. Bye, Jake.” She turned and walked through the door without a glance back. My eyes followed her for a few moments as she browsed the racks, never once looking back up at me. Finally, I released a sigh and turned, walking back toward the coffee shop, alone.
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